Monday 6 December 2010

MAGIC BEANS FOR SALE

With all the excitement surrounding the ADE and the other sticks on swivels, I thought it was time to get in on the scam act. As a result I have for sale 'magic beans', they will make you live for at least a thousand years, some of our clients are actually still alive today at the ripe old age of two thousand years, most of them live in Lagos, Nigeria.

The above picture shows one of our clients who recently celebrated her two thousand and fifty second birthday.
The beans are for sale at a very reasonable, £15,000 each, they work on, our patented, EMANQREMAThermoradox technology. We also have government tests that show the beans work exactly as we have stated,(sadly not for disclosure) in fact if you don't live to be at least a thousand years old we will give you your money back! Also you can rest assured of the authenticity of these beans as I have never been arrested for fraud, so they must work.
So let us compare these high quality magic beans with something of a similar nature, say the ADE651 for example:
ADE651   Works as an explosive detector, claims to work on EMA technology, then changed to NQR technology, then without warning returned to EMA technology. The changes to the ade to allow these different technologies is not recorded.
Magic Beans   As stated they work on EMANQREMAThermoradox technology. The working principle of the beans have remained unchanged throughout their history.
ADE651   Claims to have (SECRET) Government testing that confirms the ade effectiveness.
Magic Beans  Also claims to have (SECRET) government tests.
ADE651   Has no actual tests, double blind or otherwise that shows it can possibly do what it claims. Sadly, does have over 300 innocent dead Iraqi citizens to show that it does not work. Has also been tested the by the UK & US Governments and declared a fraud and banned from export. Also tested by the BBC which destroyed the ADE claim that it works of, 'programmed cards'. The cards were found to contain simple anti shoplifting tags which cannot be programmed.
Magic Beans   No actual testing BUT no negative publicity and NO recorded failures.
ADE651   'Inventor' currently on police bail for fraud regarding the ADE651.
Magic Beans   Only contact from the Police was when they were interested in buying a bulk order.

So there you have it, the Magic Beans have far more credibility than the ridiculous ADE651, now if all those people that were stupid enough to buy the ADE651 would like to contact me with your requirements, you can take the first step to living past one thousand years of age!
P.S.
Discount for orders over 20 beans.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tres amusant!!

Wacky Magic said...

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